saturday, took a day off (unless yelling at the tv while watching sports counts...).

sunday, calves still felt a bit sore, but i desperately needed to get out of the house. sounds like an lsd day...SO lsd, in fact, that i didn't even bother with my watch. ok, technically, i didn't run that far. but exploration is always fun (the mile to get out of the neighborhood has been inhibiting my normal inquisitiveness). so. out of the neighborhood, left on spalding, all the way down to peachtree pkwy (2.5 miles). and then i stopped to check out the shopping. the "strip mall" is the swankest, most high brow strip mall i've seen in suburbia. it has banana republic, harry and david (sellers of very very expensive fruit), aveda, williams sonoma, barnes and nobles (hurrah), etc etc. everyone there drove either a sports car or an suv. i felt distinctly sweaty. keep walking down peachtree pkwy (aka 141), past the cvs, past a target, past the chattahoochee river (SWEET! i can't believe the river is walkable from my house), almost step on a dead bird, past a couple of golf courses (pick up a golf ball), until i finally reach regal cinemas. even sweeter! the movie theater is walkable from my house. well, i always knew this theater was on 141, but i was getting very worried that i would never hit it. i mean, when peachtree pkwy became medlock bridge rd and a sign told me that i was leaving fulton county...yeah. so i pulled some money from my running shorts, called my mom on the pay phone, and settled down to watch da vinci code (all the while feeling distinctly independent and proud of myself. i think this is a remnant of my pre-16 days...i definitely don't feel as good about myself when i drive to a movie theater alone...in fact, i feel patently pathetic). 3 hours later, my mom picks me up, we drive home, and i eat dumplings. sweet sweet day. from my house to the theater is 6 miles. on another note, there's a trail near the chattahoochee that i saw some bikers come out of. might have to do some more exploring later.

monday, don't get out of bed till 2 to go for my "morning" run. it's hot, but it's my own fault...i'd been up since 8. whatever, i can handle 20 min in the heat, and i know from experience that if i don't run first thing, i don't run at all. i think i've started a rule that unless i run, i can't do anything else (like shower, eat, brush my teeth). it's a good rule...gets my ass out of bed. i'm surprised at how good i feel. ran the mothafucka in 18:30. pretty proud, but i'm worried that the time pickup is on the downhills...i'm less controlled, letting myself pound. am i still pushing the uphills at the same intensity? it definitely hurts, but maybe in a more tolerable way? the recoveries are easier. i don't know if that means i'm getting better or that i'm pushing less. maybe i'm settling more into the distance runner mentality (slow and steady). but i don't want that mentality. i want to stay a frisbee player. what for? who knows. the distance thing comes naturally though. it's just easier. i mean, ultimately, for me, its inevitable. but i hope to delay it till at least after jazzfest. after the run, do the duck walk (which has become easy...do i need to go more mailboxes? maybe use a bigger hill), sprint up the driveway thrice, forego the calf raises, let the stomach ache set in. now i remember why i drank 500 mL's of water every hour in high school.

today, get up late again in spite of myself. its the first day that i've run in calorie deficiency. like i'm hungry enough that i can't push my muscles much on the ups...but i can keep up a constant pace. and i feel kinda floaty and unconstrained. perfect for distance (but its too hot, and i'm a wuss, and not properly hydrated...so i stick to my 2 mile plan). surprisingly, i stick the 18:30. i'm definitely running the downhills faster (bad). but i did manage to push the last up to where i'm flatfooted by the time i crest it. i think i don't push all of them cuz i'm scared of failing. toss that. i gotta court failure on those hills. sigh. duckwalk still didn't challenge. for the driveway sprints, i found i could either keep my turnover fast or i could focus more on power...but i couldn't get both. not enough concentration. skipped the calf raises again cuz the heat got to me. hoping to do them later on the inside staircase. and the feeling faint thing? i just remembered that that's normal for the summer. embrace it. is it weird that i'm a much better at pushing myself in summer than in winter? every summer, i prepare for some phantom fall season. like there's just more determination and more focus. even though i worked hard this past winter, i did it in a tofu grinding mule kinda way (blinders on, going thru the motions). like i couldn't think about the goal without hyperventilating. weird huh? and now, i don't even know what the fuck i'm training for! i guess old habits die hard.