i'm in a weird place where my muscles don't hurt, they're just tired. it's much harder to push thru tired than to push thru pain. pain is a visible foe. tired is just...foggy, scattered, peripheral. how do you fight that? i would say that it's my cardio failing, but then, wouldn't i get anaerobic?

did the spinning class today. alternated between feeling lazy (not enough pain) and feeling dizzy (not enough blood to my head). i guess the word is floppy. and floppy on a bike is not easy.

apparently, it IS possible to get love handles in a week. on to my next human experiment!

incidentally, i weigh 133 lbs in the morning.

jazzfest has come and gone. ultimately, this past year hasn't been worthless, which is encouraging. i guess it takes a women's game to gage.

i'm a better deep. yelena even asked me what my vertical was at one point. i didn't go deep that often (still prefer the in cut), but i picked up a couple of trashes throws (literally two), and caught a couple of misthrows to me.

my forehand has also improved (finally!). i threw two deeps, both for completions (more kudos to receivers than anything on my side). one was a high floaty thing that came in at an angle. thank god nancy can read well. as i'm catching on an in cut, i see tucker poaching out of the corner of my eye, i know that nancy has been covering tucker all game, and i hear her yelling for the deep. i turn and jack it immediately without looking. as soon as the disc leaves my hand, i'm thinking, oh shit, that's not pretty. but i'm pretty proud of the decision making process. the other one was a hail mary from the sideline after we scored 4 times and got it recalled 4 times for contested fastcount/stalls. i was tired. i saw cordy cutting up the sideline, i knew there were other ppl deeper than she was, i very much doubted she'd catch it, i didn't give a damn. i threw it anyways. i was right, she didn't catch it, but mary saved me. thank you mary.

the first day was really frustrating. i got tired really easily. at one point, i thought i was having heart palpitations. my hands got cold and clammy. i considered faking an injury, but then i saw doris panting in the stack, panting thru her cut, panting thru her clear, and i felt like a wuss. i'm not used to cutting continuously anymore--a product of the coed game where i make a cut, throw the continue, and can never catch up with the flow of play again. i also forgot how to set up my cuts against good defense. luckily, i remembered before sunday. it's fun to get open at will and have the men's sideline OOOHing everytime you trick your girl. very fun.

oh, and my backhand has degenerated. i'm still pretty good at d. i'm surprised that meryl was having trouble with girls that i was covering easily. but maybe that's cuz all they do is squirrel before cutting in.

ten days of eating nothing but junk has finally caught up to me. this morning's intervals were very tough. as in, i had to take multiple breaks from shampooing afterwards b/c my arms were tired. my arms? yes, that's right. multiple? yes, that's right (more than three). and why? how could i be that calorie deficient? i've been doing nothing but eating! take yesterday: a cup of cereal, an entire bowl of beef curry with rice, a smoothie, a carrot, an entire tub of plain yogurt with at least half a box of quaker squares cereal.

anyways, at least i know i pushed myself. my right calf felt really tight throughout. halfway thru, i realized i wasn't tucking my pelvis under, so that gave me something to focus on (at tournaments, my lower back gets sore...i think i need to stop arching it when i run). afterwards, i all but fell down the stairs into the toilet, and there i sat for a good half hour, holding my head and sweating into my towel. my stomach hurt. it still hurts.

logistics: 27 min run, 90s intervals of 9 km/h vs 14.5 km/h, a bit more than 5k. 1 incline as always. i guess some of the pain is jetlag, some is eating, some is water. left to my own devices, i would've opted for the 25 min 5k, but it's good that we (jon and i) pushed for this. if you can get thru it, it's good that you tried it, right? victory is victory. and it feels good to destroy yourself every once in a while. nothing like a workout to remind me to eat/sleep/drink more healthy. how's that for ending on a note of pep?