yesterday. took the day off from running. surprised myself by going to the gym. did the movement prep, physioball, and strength from the first three weeks of core performance. very tired by the end of the strength. felt kinda wussy...like i was energy-less and generally shaky. couldn't even finish with the prehab core. planned on going swimming in a neighborhood pool afterwards, but thunderstorms prevented. i didn't have much energy to do anything but collapse on the couch anyways. ate a lot of leftover pretzels from auntie anne's...very oily...i think i needed carbs...felt a little guilty because lifting never makes me feel entitled to food the way that running does...trying to get my ass out of bed now to do the two mile...maybe if i view this as a recovery run. i find so many good excuses not to push myself. :-)

i couldn't find my watch today...turns out there's a stopwatch on my ipod. checked the weather...not really much cooler than yesterday...but now i realize that if i run further from noon, there are a lot more shadows, so its really much more comfortable. failed on the first two hills. tried harder to control downs. decided that since my times wouldn't be exact anyways, might as well do some distance. wanted to do 141 and back (5 miles). on the way down...literally like maybe 200 from the end, rolled my left ankle. i was running on the grass between the sidewalk and the road...i guess i should be more careful. its nothing new...i guess its still a tad weak from the last time...exact same location. i was worried cuz i was a little more than 2 miles from home, but a nice lady stopped her van and drove me back. she's a runner too, and she had two kids in her van, so i knew she wouldn't abduct me or anything. i'm getting very good at making i-just-twisted-my-ankle-thanks-for-driving-me-home-i-dont-really-know-you conversation. i am VERY glad she stopped for me. it sucks that the run got interrupted...but i guess i got in a good two miles...even tho the second mile was much easier than the usual. and i think this might be a 2 day recovery...except i can't find my ibuprofen :-(. i hate it when my routine gets interrupted. WHERE IS MY IBUPROFEN? i'm supposed to run on friday with ravi. fingers crossed.

saturday, took a day off (unless yelling at the tv while watching sports counts...).

sunday, calves still felt a bit sore, but i desperately needed to get out of the house. sounds like an lsd day...SO lsd, in fact, that i didn't even bother with my watch. ok, technically, i didn't run that far. but exploration is always fun (the mile to get out of the neighborhood has been inhibiting my normal inquisitiveness). so. out of the neighborhood, left on spalding, all the way down to peachtree pkwy (2.5 miles). and then i stopped to check out the shopping. the "strip mall" is the swankest, most high brow strip mall i've seen in suburbia. it has banana republic, harry and david (sellers of very very expensive fruit), aveda, williams sonoma, barnes and nobles (hurrah), etc etc. everyone there drove either a sports car or an suv. i felt distinctly sweaty. keep walking down peachtree pkwy (aka 141), past the cvs, past a target, past the chattahoochee river (SWEET! i can't believe the river is walkable from my house), almost step on a dead bird, past a couple of golf courses (pick up a golf ball), until i finally reach regal cinemas. even sweeter! the movie theater is walkable from my house. well, i always knew this theater was on 141, but i was getting very worried that i would never hit it. i mean, when peachtree pkwy became medlock bridge rd and a sign told me that i was leaving fulton county...yeah. so i pulled some money from my running shorts, called my mom on the pay phone, and settled down to watch da vinci code (all the while feeling distinctly independent and proud of myself. i think this is a remnant of my pre-16 days...i definitely don't feel as good about myself when i drive to a movie theater alone...in fact, i feel patently pathetic). 3 hours later, my mom picks me up, we drive home, and i eat dumplings. sweet sweet day. from my house to the theater is 6 miles. on another note, there's a trail near the chattahoochee that i saw some bikers come out of. might have to do some more exploring later.

monday, don't get out of bed till 2 to go for my "morning" run. it's hot, but it's my own fault...i'd been up since 8. whatever, i can handle 20 min in the heat, and i know from experience that if i don't run first thing, i don't run at all. i think i've started a rule that unless i run, i can't do anything else (like shower, eat, brush my teeth). it's a good rule...gets my ass out of bed. i'm surprised at how good i feel. ran the mothafucka in 18:30. pretty proud, but i'm worried that the time pickup is on the downhills...i'm less controlled, letting myself pound. am i still pushing the uphills at the same intensity? it definitely hurts, but maybe in a more tolerable way? the recoveries are easier. i don't know if that means i'm getting better or that i'm pushing less. maybe i'm settling more into the distance runner mentality (slow and steady). but i don't want that mentality. i want to stay a frisbee player. what for? who knows. the distance thing comes naturally though. it's just easier. i mean, ultimately, for me, its inevitable. but i hope to delay it till at least after jazzfest. after the run, do the duck walk (which has become easy...do i need to go more mailboxes? maybe use a bigger hill), sprint up the driveway thrice, forego the calf raises, let the stomach ache set in. now i remember why i drank 500 mL's of water every hour in high school.

today, get up late again in spite of myself. its the first day that i've run in calorie deficiency. like i'm hungry enough that i can't push my muscles much on the ups...but i can keep up a constant pace. and i feel kinda floaty and unconstrained. perfect for distance (but its too hot, and i'm a wuss, and not properly hydrated...so i stick to my 2 mile plan). surprisingly, i stick the 18:30. i'm definitely running the downhills faster (bad). but i did manage to push the last up to where i'm flatfooted by the time i crest it. i think i don't push all of them cuz i'm scared of failing. toss that. i gotta court failure on those hills. sigh. duckwalk still didn't challenge. for the driveway sprints, i found i could either keep my turnover fast or i could focus more on power...but i couldn't get both. not enough concentration. skipped the calf raises again cuz the heat got to me. hoping to do them later on the inside staircase. and the feeling faint thing? i just remembered that that's normal for the summer. embrace it. is it weird that i'm a much better at pushing myself in summer than in winter? every summer, i prepare for some phantom fall season. like there's just more determination and more focus. even though i worked hard this past winter, i did it in a tofu grinding mule kinda way (blinders on, going thru the motions). like i couldn't think about the goal without hyperventilating. weird huh? and now, i don't even know what the fuck i'm training for! i guess old habits die hard.

two days ago i accidentally did 100 calf raises (at the end of the 2 mile neighborhood run, i usually duck walk up two mailboxes and back, but i decided i wanted to jump higher, so i calf raised up the front stairs...ten per stair, alternating legs. turns out there are a lot more stairs than i bargained for). but my calves didn't feel tired at the time...i thought it was the side muscles in my shins that limited. and if i had really pushed it, i think i could've done more.

and then yesterday, i revisited old courses with ravi. we did his neighborhood plus dogwood...5 miles in 42.30. 8.30 pace, not bad. i think i was actually leading for the first 3.5 miles...didn't fall behind till we crossed the front of the high school. i'm pretty proud of that, but it would've been cool if i could've smoked him at the end like old times. meh, whatever. he's been training distance, i haven't.

i love running old courses. the last mile would've been a lot more difficult if it weren't our usual mile repeat course, cuz then i'm used to feeling crappy on it and pushing it. i'm surprised i didn't get us lost in dogwood. the guy who's yard you hafta cross thru did a lot more landscaping. i hardly recognized it. and now i remember why i used to run without a shirt. ga, you're a bitch, but you're my bitch. oh right, so the original point was: i can't straighten my legs today because of my calves. i think i'll take a day off. maybe do some arms? likely not.